He's What I Go To School For
by x.o.x.13.x.o.x
Summary: --A JONAS BROTHERS STORY-- He was new. Or so I thought. He was interesting, he intrigued me to no end because to me he was unknown. He was gorgeous, although completely unaware of it, and unreadable to me.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Do You Know That Every day's The First Of The Rest Of Your Life...

He was new. Or so I thought. He was interesting, he intrigued me to no end because to me he was unknown. He was gorgeous, although completely unaware of it, and unreadable to me.

The first time I saw him he was sitting directly across the room from me, I briefly looked up from a laughing fit I was in due to my friends, and he caught my eye. Who is that? My brain couldn't place him, I'd never seen him before and figured he must have just moved here. That was the only explanation I could think of. His eyes were smoldering, I didn't want to look away. This was too intense for a Monday morning, let alone the first day of my last semester in High School.

DING. DING. DING.

The bell pulled me from my thoughts, and I looked away as the teacher introduced herself, we all knew who she was though; this was a rather small school and all of our teachers were relatively well known especially to seniors. I leaned froward in my desk so that Ally could hear me as I asked her who the new kid was.

"Ohh umm, I think his names Nate, or norm, or nick or something like that?" She responded not really paying attention to me or the teacher, she was texting her boyfriend.

"Hmm, where's he from?"

"Who knows?" I could sense the bored tone in her voice knowing she was totally uninterested in sitting through this class, just as I was.

Trying and failing to avert my eyes from the mysterious man across the room, I had noted by the end of the period that he had dark curly hair, that couldn't have looked better on anyone else, and a perfect bone structure framing the impeccable features sculpted on his face. His dark skinny jeans and fitted top which he had rolled the sleeves up on to just below his elbows, accented his toned body, and made him look like one of the best dressed boys I'd ever seen walk the halls of Essex High.

_Who the hell is this kid?_ I was so curious, and didn't understand really what it was that drew me into him because no one else really seemed to notice this new addition to our grade. Other than another boy who sat in front of him who I'd seen him talking to for a while, and of course Kaitlyn, who was pretty much just a horn dog hoe who would try to make out with any half decent guy in our grade. She was actually pretty entertaining, and I always got a good laugh out of her ditsy ways. She had walked up to him halfway through class with her spaghetti strap, and mini skirt outfit asking him his name, unfortunately I didn't catch it and he was still a nameless mystery to me.

He did surprise me however when he seemed to show no interest at all in Kaitlyn dangling herself over his desk, and tried to withhold a polite conversation with her for as long as she decided to hang around. Looking confused, she had decided to retreat back to her desk after about ten minutes, leaving him to talk with the boy seated in front of him who I now noticed was Joe.

Joe was one of the only truly gorgeous boys in our grade, with his dark straight hair falling perfectly into place, and now that I thought about it had about the same taste in clothes as his apparent new friend. He was until today the only guy to show no interest in all the plastic girls like Kaitlyn, and seriously respected all of his girl friends. He was a genuinely nice guy, and I was extremely lucky because Joe was my best friend. We'd been inseparable since we were about eight years old, and I don't know what I would do without him.

I didn't think there were very many more genuine guys like him around, and was glad to see that my new fascination seemed to be a lot like him. _fascination _thats exactly what he was to me, because until I figured him out I knew I would be curious.

DING. DING. DING.

"Alright grade twelves, I'll see all of your smiling faces again tomorrow, enjoy the rest of your day!" The teacher beamed from the front of the classroom as we all began to file out, not really paying her much attention. Before I made it more than two feet out of the doorway I was swooped up off my feet and swung around by a smiling Joe.

"Whoaaaa, heyy Jonas." I managed as he put me on my feet and hooked his arm around my neck before continuing walking me down the hall. I couldn't help but laugh at my best friend, who was obviously letting out all of his stored up energy after sitting in the classroom for seventy-six minutes.

"Rae Lynn Stevens, that has got to be the most pointless class we've ever endured!" He concluded with an eye roll.

"Why do you do that so much? Rae Lynn Stevens?" I was still laughing from my in-air experience. "Rae's just fine Jonas."

"Ohh I know, I just like to switch it up sometimes, since you always call me Jonas, you know I have a first name Right Rae?" He chuckled.

"Ohh I know, but I've always called you that! Why stop a ten year tradition now?" I shot back.

We laughed again, and looking around Joe to see if Ally was anywhere in sight, I noticed that the new boy was walking alongside him. Are they friends now? They seemed to be rather close already and I was still extremely curious about this handsome addition to our school.  
Joe caught the direction I was looking and immediately smiled.

"Ohh yeah, Rae I forgot to introduce you to Nick!" Joe began.

"Hello, nice to meet you." Nick extended his hand with a warm smile.

"Oh hey, it's nice to meet you too." Why did that name sound so familiar?

"Do you remember how I told you about my brother who lives with my father in Texas?" Joe questioned at the puzzled look on my face.

"Yah, ohhhh your that nick!" I pointed out obviously with a smile. No wonder they were so similar.

I couldn't believe Joe's brother was here, Joe explained to me over and over again that they hadn't seen each other in years, and he didn't know when they would see each other again. He didn't talk about Nick much, and I was never quite sure whether it was because he wasn't that close to his brother, or whether it was the opposite and he missed him a lot. I now concluded it was the later, they seemed to have a really strong bond that withstood the years apart, and Joe seemed ecstatic that his brother was now home.  
We were now at my locker and I only had one more class to go to, fortunately it was with Joe. We both stuck our books in my locker, and exchanged them for our biology books.

"Ohkay well I'll catch you guys later, I'm off to gym." Nick announced giving me another warm smile before retreating down the hallway.

"See you later man, don't forget to meet me at the car after school."

"Yah, see you then."

"Is he here for good?" I asked Joe as we began our walk to biology.

"I think so." Joe had a goofy smile on his face, and I was really happy that his brother was back in his life, I couldn't imagine living without my little brother for most of my life. It made since for them though because at the time Joe's parents were on the verge of divorce, and his father had just received a job offer in Texas. For his mother this was the last straw, and it meant the end of their relationship. When Joe's father moved away the boys were young, but old enough to decide where they wanted to live their lives, and while Joe opted to stay here with his mother, Nick had a strong bond with his father, so he decided to go live in Texas.

"Dad got another job offer, and it's a really good move for him, but its in Milwaukee, and Nick didn't want to have to start his life over again, so he decided to come home, it's familiar here for him, and we get to be real brothers again." He beamed.

"That's great Joe, I'm happy for you." I informed him with a warm smile.

We sat down as the teacher started talking, and before I knew it class was almost over. The first day of a new semester is always pointless, teachers tend to just talk all period while we do nothing. It was definitely better than an assignment, even if it was a little boring.

"Your coming over tonight right?" Joe whispered.

"Of course, when do I not?"

Joe let out a low laugh, "true."

"Stevens and Jonas, do you mind?" Mr. Tambelt shot us both a look.

"Sorry Sir," Joe replied. She won't shut up."

I kicked him under the lab bench, causing a low moan that only I could here. I laughed and gathered up my books as the bell rang, freeing us for the day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay guys, here's chapter two ! I hope you like, don't forget to review and tell me what you think, I love to know ! (:**

Chapter 2: Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance...

"Jonas do you have any party mix?" I was sprawled out across Joe's bed assuming my normal habits while at my best friends, and I was feeling pretty hungry.

"Oh god Rae, what kind of a question is that?" He laughed at me.

"Right, I'll go get it from the bottom drawer, and two 7up's." I danced my way out of Joe's room downstairs. That's what we always ate, it's what we've liked for years, and we usually polished off the whole bag ourselves before the end of the night. Oh well we're fatso's, sue us. I don't think we'll ever change.

Once I grabbed the bag of party mix from its usual spot, and the pop from the fridge I noticed that Nick was sitting on the living room couch watching TV.

I decided to make my way into the living room because I'm pretty sure he already saw me or heard me in the kitchen, I'm never quiet, and I didn't want to be rude.

"Hey Nick, whats going on?" I made my way over to a chair beside the couch he was laying down on and opened the party mix. He looked away from the TV up at me and smiled, "Nothing really, there's nothing on TV." He informed me.

"Yeah I hate that."

"So can I ask you something? I know we don't really know each other, but can we, I don't know .. be friends .. I mean I don't have any friends here, and I know you're really close with Joe so I don't want to budge in on that, but we could have our own thing. I just need someone to talk to sometimes, you know?" He gave a soft smile. God, that boy's smile was perfect. He was my _fascination_ because I really didn't know anything about him, and getting to know him sounded like a pretty good idea to me, so I was happy that he'd mentioned it. The mysterious boy from across the classroom earlier today was slowly starting to unravel in my brain, and I was understanding him more every time I saw him.

"Of course we can be friends Nick, I'd love to get to know you, if you would have stuck around all those years ago, I have a feeling we would have been just as close today as I am with Joe." I thought he was adorable for asking something like if we can be friends, he was so polite. I gave him a reassuring smile and he got up from the couch and wrapped me in a hug, crushing the party mix bag against my chest. His strong arms wrapped around me, I could feel his muscles through his shirt. When he pulled away I locked eyes with him. He didn't avert his gaze, and I was trapped in the dark beautiful pools of color for what seemed like forever.

"Okay thanks Rae." He finally managed.

"Oh, err, right, no problem, so I'll see you later Nick." We both stood there for a moment longer than necessary, and managed an awkward smile as I grabbed the pop and made my way back to Joe's bedroom.

"There you are Stevens! Took you long enough." Joe was checking his e-mail when I got back to his room.

"Yeah sorry, I was talking to Nick for a minute."

"Oh alright, so since we have no homework, what movie are we watching? Unfortunately it's your turn to pick." He made a face, Joe knew me too well and he knew what we'd end up watching. Although he loved the special effects, the love story definitely turned it into a chick flick to him.

"Ohhh yes! I squeaked. Pearl Harbor!" I was bouncing with joy, and missing my mouth while trying to devour the party mix.

"Rae we've watched it at least fourty times together and no one will ever know how many times you've actually seen it, it's three damn hours long! Are you kidding?" He gave me a look but laughed because he knew this was going to happen no matter what, and it was only seven o'clock so we had time.

"Alright fine, I think it's still in the DVD player." he laughed, and I immediately jumped off the bed and sprinted through the room taking the party mix with me.

"Hey, I want some of that!" He yelled after me.

"Come get it I!" I Yelled, not really wanting to share, I was still hungry.

Before I reached the bottom of the stairs Joe had caught up and picked me up from behind, tackling me to the couch that Nick was still sitting on.

"Thank You!." He snatched the bag form my grip, and Nick quickly got off the couch and moved to the recliner beside it, trying to avoid being squished by our epic battle for party mix.

"Heyyyy, I wasn't done! Come share." I whined.

"What are you two doing down here? Nick laughed at us, I guess he wasn't used to how we were yet, poor him, I bet we were rather annoying to everyone else.

"Watching Pearl Harbor!" I excitedly informed him.

"Oh I've never seen it, and that's good 'cause theres seriously nothing on TV."

"Your lucky, it's Rae's favourite and since your living here now, be prepared to have all three hours memorized man." He gave his brother a look along with the explanation.

"Hey, It's really good, and don't act like you don't love it Jonas, cause I know you do."

Nick and Joe both laughed at me at the same time, "Yah I liked it the first five times. Stevens, it's damn a good thing I love you, or I wouldn't put up with this."

"Shh", I pressed play on the remote and layed down on Joe's chest as he had finally decided to share the party mix with me.  
Nick looked over at us with an expression I couldn't read, but just gave me a small smile before turning back towards the TV.

"It's your nose that hurts! I think it's my heart!" I quoted loudly and passionately imitating the actors exactly.

"Rae Lynn Stevens! Do not quote, because I know you know every word." Joe put his hand over my mouth causing me to giggle.

"Okay fine, I'll be quiet." I agreed, and I did sit silently for the rest of the movie, running the lines through my head before they were spoken on the screen. I know I'm a looser alright?

The movie was over at ten, and I was sobbing silently at the final scene, it didn't matter how many times I'd seen this movie, Josh Hartnett dying at the end made me sad every time. I loved that man, he was such a sexy piece of army man who could sex me up in the parachute hanger any day. Just sayin'.

"Wow, that was really good! I can't believe I've never seen it, Nick commented excitedly as we made our way upstairs." This caused major excitement on my part because I loved when people enjoyed my favorite movie, obviously.

"Yeah, yeah, I bet you'll be taking that back by about the fortieth view." Joe said sarcastically.

"Are you staying over?" Nick asked me looking a little awkward once we stopped outside the bedrooms.

"I always do when I come over, there's no point in going home, we're closer to the school here and Joe always takes me." Joe and I both chuckled, It was seriously obvious that Nick wasn't used to our ways yet. We'd been doing this ever since we were little, we don't really even think about it anymore, our parents know we're best friends so they don't really mind, it's just expected.

"Oh, alright, well goodnight guys I'll see you in the morning."

"Night man", Joe gave him a brotherly smile and patted him on the back.

"Sweet Dreams Nick." I smiled.

Nick turned and walked down the hallway, and I grabbed one of Joe's t-shirts telling him to turn around while I changed, he laughed and did as he was told.

He climbed into his bed, and pulled the covers down for me as I joined him. Laying my head on his chest, as he wrapped his arm around me, I fell into a deep dreamless sleep waiting for morning to come.


	3. Chapter 3

**alright, heres chapter three! I'm sorry if it's not any good, for some reason I don't think this was my best writing, oh well, let me know what you thought ! :]**

Chapter 3: There Might be More Than You and Me, There Might be More than You Can See..

The next afternoon, Joe had to stay at the school to do an assignment with a group from his English class, and I decided not to go home because I had minimal homework again obviously, come on, the second day of the semester is the biggest joke next to the first day of the semester.

I decided to hang out with Nick, since his offer from the night before to be friends had made me feel a little sorry for him, I knew being new must have been hard for him, and it didn't seem like he'd made too many friends yet. After finishing my worksheet that I swear I could have completed in grade five, I watched Nick finnish up his.

I was laying on Nick's bed as he sat beside me doing his homework chewing on his pen cap, he looked irresistible when he concentrated. What the hell Rae? Don't think like that it's creepy.

I laughed at his face expression causing him to look up from his algebra.

"What?" He asked, smiling back at me.

"Your face."

"Oh thanks, Rae." He looked playfully hurt.

"No, the expression on your face actually, you look pretty confused." I added

"Yeah well, Algebra to me is like trying to understand someone speaking German, It's pretty hopeless and I have no idea why I'm even trying.

"Well good luck with that." I chuckled

He turned back to-wards his text book and began concentrating again.  
My _fascination_ wasn't such a mystery anymore and I was glad I was getting to know him. I laughed out loud again, this time because of my thoughts. Why did I refer to him in my head as my fascination?

"What? I can't help it that my face looks like that when I'm trying to do algebra! It's a really messed up concept." He whined.

"No, that's not what I'm laughing at this time. I informed him.

"Well what are you laughing at?"

"I don't really want to say, it's more like an inside joke with me and my mind." I informed him.

"Just tell me."

"Alright, I was laughing because in my head I like to refer to you as my _fascination_ and I just realized how ridiculous that sounds." I looked up at him and laughed.

"What? Why?"

"Okay, well, the first time I saw you in class I didn't know anything about you, you seemed very mysterious. I wanted to figure out who you were, and what you were all about, it bugged me not knowing, basically you fascinated me. Hence my fascination."

"Wow Rae, I'm not going to lie thats a bit creepy," he laughed at me, "but I guess in a small school where you know everyone it's normal to want to figure out the new kid."

"Of course." I laughed, and he just stared for a while.

"What?" I was wondering about the look I was getting, it looked as though Nick was half amused yet his gaze was growing intense, and it confused the hell out of me.

"So I _fascinate_ you huh?" He moved over top of me on the bed and our faces were just inches apart, lets just say this position was exciting my senses.

"Ohh-well-uh-you did, but I think I'm starting to figure you out." Why did I always have to stutter when he got close to me? Wow learn to speak Rae.

"Ohh really?" I could feel his breath against my face, as he inched closer, his arms supporting himself over my body. " I think there are a lot of things about me that you don't know." His voice was low and soft.

"Ohh like what Jonas." I couldn't help but call him that it was a habit for Joe that I was slowly developing for Nick too.

Instead of a verbal reply, his lips connected with mine pulling at the bottom lip then at the top, making his way past my teeth, the kiss was long and hard and full of passion, and oh-soo-good. My hands tangled into his curly dark locks, and his hand wandered around the small of my back.

"Hey Nick, so I guess we're not doing that project anymore, because Matt forgot the camera, I can't believ--

Ohh, sorry." I looked up and Joe was already gone but I had heard his tone of voice, he was embarrassed and shocked at what he had just witnessed, and I felt awful. I didn't even hear him come in, and by the time Nick and I jumped apart it was too late, Joe had obviously already seen us.

I looked over at nick and without even thinking jumped off the bed to go after Joe. He was my best friend, and I needed to talk to him about this, even if I knew it shouldn't matter to him, I owed him at least an explanation. I found him sitting on his bed, and immediately sat down beside him.

"Joe, I'm really sorry about that." I didn't really know what else to say to him because I'm sure the awkwardness of his brother and I making out on his bed was pretty heavy.

"Why? It's fine Rae don't worry about it." He looked over at me and surprisingly gave me a small smile.

"Are you sure?" I questioned raising an eyebrow at him. "Because I know if I was in your position that would have been a pretty awkward moment, and I might even have been mad seeing as it's my brother and all."

"Of course I'm not mad at you Rae, as long as your happy nothing else matters." Leaning over he grabbed me in a warm hug, leaving me in disbelief of how amazing my best friend was. Any one else might have a problem with the fact that their best friend was rolling around on a bed with their brother showing affections previously unannounced, but Joe would of course find the positive side to the situation, and make sure I didn't feel like shit about it. God I loved him.

"Ohkay well I should probably go talk to Nick, because to be honest with you I don't really know whats going on with us." I confessed while getting up and walking to-wards the door.

"Yeah sure, I think I'm going to get to bed though." He gave another warm smile as I walked out of the door frame leaving him alone in his room to ponder his thoughts, and I was pretty sure I knew what the dominating portion of those thoughts were.


	4. Chapter 4

**No author's notes really, here's chapter four, ENJOY! :]**

Chapter Four: We walk the halls at school we know it's casual, it's cool we're just friends.

Joe.

That was something I definitely didn't expect to see, and my feelings about it were seriously conflicted. It shouldn't have matter to me right? Rae's single, and Nick's a great guy, not to mention a great guy who happens to seem pretty alone lately, and I know that moving here was hard on him, so I'm happy. Especially if Rae's happy because she's my best friend, and the only thing I really want to make certain is that she is happy. Another part of me which I was completely unaware of until now, thinks it does matter to me, and I have no idea why.

Rae.

I walked back into Nick's room only to see him laying on his back staring at the ceiling. I knew we needed to talk but I didn't really know where to start.

"Hey, I talked to Joe." laying down beside him, I joined him in his activity and began staring at the white ceiling above his bed.

"Is he mad?"

"No, he was actually very understanding, as always, he's too good to me." I truly believed it, what I had done to deserve a best friend like Joe I'll never know.

The room was silent for a few moments, until Nick finally spoke.

"Look Rae, I like you. Since I've got here you've been a great friend to me, and If there's a chance this could be more, then I want it to be. Besides the fact that your amazing on the inside", he looked over and met my eyes, "your indescribably beautiful on the outside. You've made my life more bearable during this move, and I can't even begin to tell you how truly incredible you are." He finished never averting his gaze, and I was speechless for a few moments.

"I like you too Nick, and you're a really great guy just like your brother. If you want to give this a try then I would love that. Besides, damn Jonas, have you looked in the mirror lately? I don't think being seen with you would hurt my rep at all." I gave him a quick wink and we both laughed.

"But I should go check on Joe, and hang out with him because that's what we did plan on doing tonight after his project was done, and I think he deserves at least that." I explained giving Nick a quick kiss before jumping off the bed.

"Your right, good night Rae, I'll see you tomorrow." His adorable smile beaming at me from the bed as I beamed back and made my way out of the door and down the hallway to Joe's room.

Joe's light was off so I slowly opened the door being careful not to make noise, and grabbed one of his T-shirts from the floor, quickly changing, and crawling into bed beside him. My stealthness apparently unnecessary, because as soon as I got into bed Joe pulled me in close wrapping his arm around me and pulling the comforter tightly over top of me.

"Night Jonas." I whispered as I snuggled in closer to my best friend.

"Good night Rae." The whispered response in my ear soothed me, and I drifted into a deep dreamless sleep, just as I always did In my favorite spot to fall asleep, Joe's arms.

The next morning at school went by rather quickly, and Nick and I decided in third period that we would go on an official first date that night. I was seriously excited for lack of better words, and I was pretty sure Nick was too, we both wanted to spend some time alone together and dinner seemed like a good opportunity to do that.

"Bye Rae, have fun. I'll see you after school." Nick gave me a quick kiss before leaving me at my locker and departing to gym as always. Joe walked over to me books in hand ready to go, I was obviously still beaming.

"Ready Stevens?" Joe proceeded to close my locker for me without waiting for a response.

"I guess, off to bio it is." I replied with a smile, and we made our way down the hallway together to wards the biology room, neither of us particularly excited about this subject.

When we got there just as the bell was ringing, like usual, we were surprised to learn we were just copying a note and then watching a video for the rest of the class, definitely one of the better ways to fill this seventy-six minute gap in my day.

We copied out the note, finished out worksheet in record time, no thanks to me because I was texting Nick, Joe had filled them both out while I was oblivious to my surroundings. He handed them in, just as Mr. Tambelt yelled my name.

"Rae, please tell me you are not texting right here in biology class." He gave me a look, followed by a motion with his hand that meant 'hand it over', so I turned it off and walked my cell phone to the Front of the classroom.

"Thank you miss Stevens, you can pick up your mobile texting device on your way out." I just rolled my eyes and went back to my seat

When I sat back down Joe was laughing at me, and I hit him playfully in the arm, trying not to laugh, but it was pretty funny, I never get my phone taken away, so I must have been pretty obvious.

"Smoooooooooth Stevens." He chuckled

"Yeah, thanks." I laughed back. "Oh and thanks for finishing the worksheets, I owe you."

"Not really, your usually the one doing all our work while I just sit here, so we're even." We both laughed because this was actually really true, and I wasn't going to object.

The bell rang, dismissing us, and Joe retrieved my phone from Mr. Tambelt while I gathered up my books. Making our way out to his car, we ran into Nick, and Joe decided it would be a good idea to tell him about me getting my phone taken away when he asked why I had stopped texting him back. Nick and Joe both laughed at me, and even though I tried to look mad, I couldn't control my laughter either.

Joe drove Nick and I back to their house, and I bolted into the bathroom with my bag and began to get ready for our date. I decided I wanted my attire to be a surprise, and I knew I would need a while to get ready, so claiming the bathroom as my territory for a few hours was what I had to do. Nick and Joe laughed and headed to their rooms to start on homework, as I plugged in my laptop, set it on the counter and started the itunes. I always made getting ready a good time, and there was always music involved. I heard Joe laugh from his room, and close his door as I dug in my bag for my dress.


	5. Chapter 5

**first of all thank you to all my amazing reviewers, I love you guys, and second of all, well, just enjoy one of my personal favourite chapters so far ! :]**

Chapter 5: Sometimes I wish I had a kung fu grip, never let her slip, away she'd be my girl. I Really wish she knew what I feel is true She'd be my doll and I would be her hero too...

"Ready Jonas?" I called from the bottom of the stairs finally ready to go, as expected before Nick.

He was already walking out his bedroom door before I finished though, looking incredibly handsome I might add, but stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he saw me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, oblivious.

"Nothing, you just look beautiful, very beautiful Rae." He smiled and leaned in for a kiss, I having no objections connected my lips with his, instantly remembering how good of a kisser that boy was.

We finally parted, and Nick yelled a goodbye to Joe who had stayed in his room the whole night, receiving a screamed reply from his room.

"Bye, have fun!" was all we heard, and we made our way through the door.

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When we got to the restaurant, I realized it was an Italian place that seemed to be extremely popular. I was shocked that Nick picked this place because Italian was my absolute favorite, I'm definitely a pasta kinda girl.

Nick held the door open for me, and we made our way into the entrance of the warm atmosphere to wards the two waitresses who were taking names for tables. Both of them were blonde, tall, and gorgeous, and as soon as Nick made his way over to them they turned on major flirt mode. Of course Nick looked completely uninterested and politely told them he had a reservation for two under Jonas. The shorter of the two checked her clipboard, and assured him our table was ready, and asked us to follow her.

We made our way through the restaurant to a booth against the back wall, and the blond introduced herself as Tasha before taking our drink orders and throwing a wink in Nick's direction before leaving to get our waiter.

"Well she seems friendly." I joked with him. He was such a gentlemen, and the gorgeous girl who was practically throwing herself on him didn't phase him at all, this was one of the things I'd loved about Nick since the first day I saw him, and it was a quality that he and Joe both shared making them the genuine guys I loved to be around so much.

"Yes she does, I wish she wasn't." He chuckled. "So how was your day?" Nick questioned, clearly trying to change the subject.

"Oh just fine, other than the fact that I got my phone taken away because of you." I joked with him.

"That was not my fault, you need to learn to be more stealth gorgeous."

"I thought I was being pretty stealth, but I guess Mr. Tambelt was on his game today." We both laughed, and our waiter showed up at our table a few seconds later asking for our orders. I ordered fettuccine Alfredo, I told you I'm a pasta girl, and nick ordered traditional spaghetti and meatballs, mostly because of the big letters on the menu that stated 'the best homemade meatballs in town'. I guess he wanted to see for himself.

When the waiter left, we drifted back into our conversation, and I found that it was so easy talking to Nick, he wasn't a typical jerk like most of the guys in our grade, he threw compliments my way every so often, and we talked about a wide variety of topics, all the while finding out more and more about each other, and having some good laughs while doing it. Honestly, this was probably the best date I'd ever been on, and with one of the greatest guys I'd ever met.

When we'd finished our meals the waiter came over with the check, which Nick insisted on paying, and wouldn't even let me think about grabbing my purse. When I disagreed he snatched my bag from me and held it hostage on his side of the table. I laughed, but after a little more protest decided to let it go, I could see there would be no way to win.

"You ready to go beautiful?" Nick asked after handing me back my purse, and standing up to grab my hand and help me out of the booth.

"Yep, let's go. Movie when we get back?" I asked with a kiss, as he led me to the doorway of the restaurant.

"Sure, you can pick even though it's technically my turn, as long as it's not Pearl Harbor again, we should wait at least a week before embarking on that epic journey again." He joked with me.

"Fine, I wont pick Pearl Harbor, now lets get home Jonas." I smiled at him and kissed him once more before getting into the car.

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Joe

I was pacing around my room, as thoughts stirred in my head that had been stirring all night. I hadn't left my room in hours, but I didn't care, my mind was running ramped. My thoughts were centered on one thing and one thing only, or should I say one person only, Rae Lynn Stevens.

Rae is my best friend, and has been ever since we were little. I have never gone more than a week without seeing her, and even then it was only because of events such as family vacations that would pull us apart. We have our own special bond, and my favorite thing in the world is spending time with her. Most of the time we spend days together without her going home, we are so close, and I swear we will always be inseparable. The thing is, I just realized as my brother took her out that door tonight that I love her.

How could I not have realized it before? She is everything to me and sitting here alone at home on a Friday night that I would normally be spending with my best friend, I'm more miserable than I've ever been in my entire life. In fact more miserable than I've been in 10 years, before I met Rae, and that adorable brunette came crashing into my life, making my childhood years the best of my life. Making my awkward adolescent, and the following teenage years the most fun filled, and memorable times I ever could have had, before she arrived and made me whole. She's my other half, and I love her.

Just then I heard the front door open interrupting my thoughts, and I heard Rae and Nick walk into the living room laughing, and playing, and above all I heard my best friend truly happy. As long as she was happy, thats all I cared about. The fact that my heart was hurting sitting in my room listening to her be happy, didn't matter.

I Decided to give up on pacing my room, shut the light off, and crawl into bed. Maybe my heart would find a solution while I rested, although by the tear that streaked down my eye as I layed in bed, I doubted an answer would come.

Rae

Nick and I sat ourselves down on the couch still laughing from a joke he'd made five minutes ago, and before I knew it he was on top of me, our lips connecting in another fiery, oh-so-good kiss.

I deepened the kiss, as Nick made his way up my shirt, stroking my stomach. I found the hem of his and pulled it off, feeling his toned muscles underneath, driving me wild. Damn, this boy's body was to die for. Nick trailed soft kisses down my neck and pushed up my dress with his hand, while massaging my upper thighs. He pushed his other hand up under my dress and cupped my breast, massaging the nipple, making me moan.

"Damn Rae, we'd better stop before we do something we both might regret. First date remember?" He pulled away and chuckled at me. This boy was unbelievable with his respect for women, and I loved that about him.

"Your right, I'll put the movie in." I laughed and went over to the TV to put in another favorite of mine, Tristan&Isolde. I'm a sucker for romance films, and James Franco couldn't look hotter if he tried.

I made my way back over to the couch and Nick and I both layed down, settling in for the movie, which he apparently had also never seen, I was beginning to think the boy was challenged in the movie area.

The the movie wasn't even half way over, when for the first time it was Nicks arm's I fell asleep in, tucked tightly into his body on the couch.

**alright guys, that was chapter five ! Now I must ask you, team Joe or Nick ?! ;]**


	6. Chapter 6

**Alright, here's chapter six! Thanks for any reviews! :]**

Chapter 6: If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along, so why can't you see; you belong with me, you belong with me.

Rae.

The next morning I realized I should go home since it was Saturday, and my mom would probably have some chores for me to do, or just some general rambling to do while I listened.

I woke up early and Nick was still asleep, looking adorable sprawled out on the couch. I carefully climbed off the couch, trying not to disturb him, and grabbed my car keys before making my way out to my car. I decided against trying to say goodbye to Joe because I knew he wouldn't be up yet either, and I'd rather let him sleep.

Once I got home, my mom and brother were still sleeping so I decided to first shower, then do some laundry and tidy up my room, knowing this would make my mom happy, and make less work for her later.

I was just finishing cleaning my room when my mom came in, smiling, in her plaid pajamas, hair in complete disarray. This site made me smile.

"Hey honey, thanks for picking up for me, how was your night?"

"Good, I went to dinner with Nick actually." I informed her.

"Oh I thought you'd be hanging out with Joe like usual", she prodded, taking a seat on the edge of my bed while I began putting my folded clothes into drawers.

I proceeded to explain to her about Nick's arrival from Texas, and how we instantly clicked once we began talking. Leaving out the part about me being fascinated by the very sight of him in class, she slowly began to understand. I explained that Nick had an amazing personality, and that he was a perfect gentlemen, causing her to smile, and when I had finished my explanation of my new boyfriend all she had to say was "This boy sounds a lot like Joseph."

"Yes, I noticed that too, they're both great guys." I commented, knowing she was thinking something else that she wouldn't voice. I tried not to be too affected to my mother's silent thoughts, and she changed the subject by asking me to take my brother to the mall tomorrow for a few new outfits because she had to work, yet again.

"I know I've been working a lot lately, sorry honey, I'm glad you have always had Joe to keep you busy, and Nick sounds like a great guy, I'm happy you found such a gentlemen."

"Thats alright, I'll definitely take Benny tomorrow, it's not a problem." I finished putting the last of my clothes away, and just as my mom thanked me again and left, my adorable little brother Ben came bouncing in and gave me a giant welcoming hug.

"Hey Buddy, I'm taking you to the mall tomorrow to get some clothes kay?" I informed him pulling him off the floor and into my arms.

He let out a grunt before stating, "Okay, but I hate clothes shopping. I don't like picking things out unless it's with Joe, he always helps me decide."

I set Ben down on my bed and let out a sigh, "Okay well if you need Joe to come with us you'll have to call him yourself and ask nicely because he might already have plans buddy, I haven't talked to him since yesterday at school, and I didn't ask what his plans were this weekend." Realizing this made me slightly sad, it wasn't often that I would go this long without talking to Joe, and I always knew what he was doing, all the time. It felt weird not knowing, and I was glad that Ben had suggested he come to the mall tomorrow, I had some catching up to do with my best friend.

"Kay, give me your phone." Ben held out his hand, and smiled. I gave it to him and started making my bed. Ben dialed, and excitedly yelled "Hi Joe, you have to come to the mall with me tomorrow, I need help with clothes." when he had finally picked up. I laughed, and knew Joe was laughing at him as well.

Ben paced around the room excitedly chatting with Joe, while I proceeded to make my bed. When he finally hung up the phone about fifteen minutes later, he threw the phone back at me and plopped down on my nicely made bed wrinkling the covers again.

I layed down next to him, no longer worried about my bed being perfectly made, "So is he going to come? Did you ask him nicely bud?" I asked, hoping Ben hadn't bothered Joe too much with his rather lengthy call. What can I do? The kid seriously loves Joe.

"Yep he said he'd come, and to tell you he would come by and pick us up at one tomorrow." Ben beamed excitedly.

"Alright buddy sounds good, lets go get some food, I'll make KD." Ben followed me excitedly downstairs and the rest of the day was spent eating kraft dinner, playing guitar hero, rock band, and spending some much needed quality time with my little brother, while my mom ran errands.

After hours of games, and two of Ben's favorite movies later I took my brother up stairs and laid him down in his bed knowing how tired he now was. I tucked him in and as I went to leave, he whined my name in protest.

"Rae, will you sleep in here with me? Please?"

I smiled at the sight of him, "Of course I will buddy." I walked back over to the bed, pulling down the covers and crawled in next to my little brother.

"Night Rae, I love you."

"I love you too Ben, now get to sleep so your ready for Joe tomorrow." I smoothed out his hair and rolled over, drifting off to sleep.

The next morning I was woken up by Ben yelling in my ear. "Rae come on, it's eleven O'Clock you have to get ready, and I'm hungry, make me food." I laughed and rolled off the bed. "Please!" He added with a smile.

I made Ben some pancakes, had a shower, got ready and before I knew it Joe had pulled into the driveway causing Ben to yell up the stairs, "Rae! Joe's here, come on!"

Ben had already ran out the door into the car when I got downstairs, so I proceeded to driveway and saw Joe picking Ben up into a giant hug as he yelled "Joeeeeeeeee."

"Hey little man, how's it going?" Joe opened his car door and set Ben inside, then walking over to my side to open mine for me.

"Hey Stevens," My best friend smiled at me, as I climbed in.

"Hey Jonas, thanks for coming, Ben apparently really needs your help picking out his clothes, I guess your great sense of fashion is rubbing off on him." I laughed as he got into the drivers side.

On the way to the mall Ben was the definition of chatterbox, and Joe made sure to sound excited about everything that came out of my little brothers mouth, making sure to stay engaged in his pointless conversation as much as possible. This was another quality that I was so happy Joe had, he was so great to my little brother, and Ben loved him so much because of it. I was extremely grateful to wards Joe for being such a great friend to Ben, and giving me a break at times, like now when I drifted to my thoughts instead of having to engage in Ben's excited chanting. I love the kid but man does he like to talk.

When we got to the mall, Ben was the first out of the car and excitedly grabbed one of each of Joe and my hands, as we made our way into, and around the mall. I was pretty sure we looked like a couple or something thanks to Ben, but I didn't really care. Come to think of it I'd never really thought of Joe that way.

I was pulled away from my thoughts by Joe who pulled Ben into the near by Children's clothing store, sounding extra excited, and trying to get Ben excited to try on clothes today, which was not one of his favorite things to do. "Come on little man, lets try this store."

We browsed the store, and Ben didn't seem to be finding much he liked to try on. With Joe's help however, he picked out a few pairs of jeans, sweaters, and shirts that he thought he might like. Whenever I tried to help by showing him an outfit I thought was cute he would just reply with a "Yuck Rae, let Joe pick out my clothes."

"Alright then, sorry but picking out clothes for you has never been my thing." I laughed, and so did Joe.

"Thats okay Rae, you try." Joe joked swinging his arm around my neck. "Ben, go try those on, we'll wait out here for you."

Ben entered the changing room, and I decided to apologize for not saying goodbye this morning, and not really seeing him much last night. "Thanks for coming again Joe, I have the hardest time getting him to buy clothes, and by the way I'm sorry I didn't see you much last night, and I didn't want to wake you up this morning to say goodbye so sorry about that too."

"Rae Lynn Stevens, you know I'll always be here to help you with the little man, don't ever think I wont." He smiled, and neglected commenting much on the second part of my apology other than saying that it was okay, he was busy anyways, and he was glad that Nick and I had fun. I sensed something might be up with him, but didn't want to prod. If Joe wanted to tell me something he always did when he was ready. He'd always been like that.

Ben emerged from the dressing room a few minutes later with most of the options Joe had picked out for him, making excuses for the few things he didn't like, but overall I was satisfied with what he had decided to get, and sent him to get ice cream with Joe while I payed.

The rest of the afternoon we walked around the mall, drifting into shops and playing with random gadgets, generally having a great time like we always did when we were together, while Ben made it all the more fun making Joe and I laugh at the ridiculous things he rambled on about, and wanted to play with in the stores.

When we decided we'd had enough at the mall, Joe took Ben and I home, and with one last giant hug from Ben he was off. I helped Ben put away all of his clothes, and made him dinner, before getting him to shower and finally putting him to bed.

Once Ben was taken care of, I got ready for bed as well, and climbed in to lay there with my thoughts. I finished up an assignment that was due the next week, and watched some Television for a while before giving up and shutting it off.

Laying in my own bed for the first time this week, my thoughts shifted to Joe. Today at the mall, something seemed to be bothering him when I brought up my date with Nick. I hoped he didn't have a problem with me dating his brother, because the last thing I wanted to do was come between them, but I knew Joe would tell me if it was a problem. Or I hoped he would. Then I remembered thinking for the first time today about Joe and I being a couple. It had never occurred to me before that to some people we probably seemed like a couple, but him and I had always just been friends. I don't know what it would be like to be more than that. Would I ever consider that? I didn't know.

Unable to drift off into sleep I decided to turn my laptop on and sign into my msn. Beaming when I realized Joe was on, which was unusual as it was for me to be on this late, I clicked on his name and began to type.

**Rae.x.x** Hey Jonas, I can't sleep why are you up so late?! : )

**. The music is always there.** Rae Lynn Stevens go to bed! it's almost 12:30, why can't you sleep?

**Rae.x.x** I don't know I was just thinking I guess, I can't shut my mind off..

**. The music is always there.** Yeah well it's hard to try to get to sleep with your laptop on, so close it and try to get some rest gorgeous, I'll be there to pick you up in the morning normal time.

**Rae.x.x** Haha, ohkay you get to bed to handsome, the last thing I need is a grumpy best friend tomorrow, especially since we have a sub tomorrow in Biology! We'll have some premium conversation time for sure. : )

**. The music is always there.** Looking forward to it, good night Rae.

**Rae.x.x** Nightttt Jonasss 3

**. The music is always there.** 3

Joe

I knew that girl had to be thinking about something important, because she was always the one asleep first no matter what. What she didn't know was that I couldn't shut my mind of either, and it was thoughts of Rae Lynn Stevens that kept my mind busy for most of the night.

**I hope you all enjoyed chapter six! Did anyone switch teams? Probably not, but anyways don't forget ! Reviews are love!**


	7. Chapter 7

**heres chapter seven that I spent a lot of time on! Enjoy (:**

Chapter Seven: Ice, ice, melt your heart, baby girl let down your guard, rush, rush, for that touch, just one taste can't get enough.

Joe

The next day at school was uneventful and pretty dull. It went by like any other day with boring classes, doodling instead of listening, and cluttered hallways. The only thing different about this Monday was that now when Rae and Nick shared goodbye kisses between classes my heart ached. Watching them I couldn't help but to feel jealous to wards my brother because he had everything I ever wanted.

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Sitting in biology and as the video on microorganisms played I couldn't help but to glance over at Rae. She was sitting beside me doodling and she looked absolutely perfect. I loved her so much that my heart ached just looking at her, knowing she wasn't mine. But I knew I couldn't tell her, I wouldn't. I couldn't tell her how I felt because she seemed happy, and better yet, happy with my brother who was a really great guy. I would have to find away to deal with this pain, and control my feelings so she could be happy. All I ever wanted was to make sure Rae was happy, as her best friend my entire life, she meant the world to me. That would never change.

Rae looked and smiled, "This has got to be the worst movie ever made." She joked causing the substitute to look up from her desk.

"Agreed."

She raised her eyebrow at my unenthusiastic reply. "What's been up with you lately Joe?" She prodded. "I've noticed you haven't been completely yourself these last few days.

The substitute teacher looked away pretending not to notice our conversation, since we weren't the only ones in the class not watching the film. "Nothing, sorry, I've just been doing a lot of thinking." I tried to sounds convincing.

"Don't lie to me Jonas, I'm your best friend, I can tell when something's not right."

"It's really nothing Rae, I would tell you if it was." I lied again.

"Okay, are you sure?" She questioned with a caring look. "Because you know you can always talk to me. Nothings ever stopped you before." She smirked.

"Yeah I know, I'm usually one to ramble on about my problems to you, but don't worry I'm fine." I smiled back. "Nice flower." I commented on her doodling skills.

"Oh shut up Jonas, you know it's the best flower you've ever seen." I couldn't help but think that she was the most beautiful women I'd ever seen, and even if it was the worst flower I'd ever seen I would have told her otherwise.

After class Rae and I made our way to the car in the student parking lot waiting yet again for Nick. Nick was always the last one to the car; unfortunately this seemed to be his only flaw.

Rae

Nick and I were in his room doing our homework before he had to leave for baseball practice. He loved baseball, and I'm not going to lie, that boy can swing a bat. He's damn good, and I'm not just saying that because he's my boyfriend.

"I hate math." Nick whined attempting his homework.

"Everyone does Nick, just do it so you don't have to do it when you get home. You'll be glad you did, trust me." I informed him.

"I'd rather be kissing you." He informed me with a smirk.

"Oh really?"

He leaned over and connected our lips moving on top of me in one swift motion. I pushed my binder aside and deepened the kiss. He trailed kisses down my chest and began to unbutton my blouse. I tugged at the hem of his shirt and swiftly pulled it off, reconnecting our lips. Nick pulled off my blouse completely and his hands wondered around the small of my back as I explored his muscles.

Nick unclasped my bra and I rolled over so I was on top letting it fall completely off. This was as far as we'd gone last time, and I knew I did not want to stop yet now. I felt Nicks hard on push against my leg and when he pulled away from the kiss gazing at my breasts I saw the desire in his eyes. Feeling him stiffen against my leg he pulled me against him tightly letting his hands wander around my back.

"Let me take care of that for you Jonas." I whispered in his ear.

Nick moaned as I pushed my hand inside of his boxers and began to stroke."Oh, shit Rae, he yelped."

He cupped my breasts in his hands as I pumped harder trying to bring him the release he so desperately desired. Pushing myself into his body dropping small kisses down his jawline, neck, and stomach, Nick was breathing heavily underneath me. Moaning again I felt his release in my hand and I fell down next to him, both of us breathing heavy, and leaving me extremely aroused from the way he writhed underneath me when I touched him.

Before I knew it though Nick was back on top of me, and my body was in no state to object. He connected our lips in another heated kiss, and I pulled at the curls on the back of his neck. He slowly kissed down my jaw and neck, placing small kisses on each of my breasts making me more aroused than I already was. He made his way down my stomach to the hem of my pants and slowly pulled them down. Suddenly Nicks hand was inside my underwear and I let out a loud moan. He pulled my underwear down completely and began to stroke me hard and fast. It felt so good, and I was breathing like I'd just ran a marathon. Nick slipped a finger inside of my and began to pump in and out. Pumping and stroking, kissing my stomach; I couldn't take it anymore.

"Ohh Nick!." I screamed as I felt my release build up and hit me. I was in extreme ecstasy for at least an entire minute and Nick collapsed beside me, panting as I was.

The room was completely still for a few moments, until Nick looked up at the clock. "Damn it, I'm going to be late. I've got to go Rae." He kissed me with one more passionate kiss, and jumped off the bed throwing his shirt back on and handing me my clothes before dashing out the door.

I changed into pajama bottoms and an over sized sweatshirt, and made my way down the hall to reach Joe.

"Bye guys, I'll be home around ten." Nick yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

"Later Nick." Joe replied, just before Nick slammed the front door.

I sat down on the end of Joe's bed. My mind wandered back to Nick. I thought about the pleasurable time I had just had with him, and our relationship. We always had a great time, but whenever we were together the situation seemed to turn physical quickly. He was an amazing guy, and damn was that boy hot, but I realized that didn't know if we had an actual emotional connection. I wasn't sure if it was just too early in the relationship to tell though, so I let it go.

Sitting on Joe's bed, I wondered what my best friend and I would do with the quality time we had together. He looked somewhat stressed out and I was yet again wondering what that boys problem was lately.

Joe

I turned around and saw Rae sitting on the end of my bed. Even in pajama bottoms and an over sized sweater she looked beautiful. I realized yet again how much I loved her. Basically, I loved her so much it hurt. My heart physically hurt looking at her, and I was stuck without options.

"So what do you want to do Jonas?" She questioned. "You want party mix and 7up of course. I'll go get it." She beamed, and before I could answer she was already out the door and making her way down the stairs.

I loved these moments. The moments when we were just Rae and Joe; best friends, doing the things we'd done ever since we were kids, and not thinking anything of it. We hadn't had much time together to do this lately and I was glad we had time now.

I listened to her bounce down the stairs, and enter the kitchen. I listened as she retrieved the party mix from the cupboard drawer, slamming it shut as she always did, even though it was almost impossible to slam. I heard her open the fridge, grab the pop, and slam that shut as well; the girl could not be quiet in the kitchen ever. I Listened as she opened the bag of party mix popping some into her mouth before sharing with me, just as she always had done, and waited for her to make her way back upstairs.

I realized I didn't really move from my spot in the middle of the room the whole time Rae was downstairs. I was just thinking about her, and then I found myself thinking of my brother. I didn't know whether she loved Nick or whether she saw their relationship having a future. They seemed happy together, but didn't seem to have the connection I knew we had; we had always had. I was convinced at one point that she was only dating him because he was handsome, and a great guy, but didn't seem to love him like she should. Rae belonged with me and I knew that. I didn't care anymore, I had to do something, or I knew my heart would never recover. I didn't know what or when, but I knew I had to find a solution.

Just then Rae walked in the door holding the snacks, and with just one look at her I knew I couldn't take it anymore.

Rae

"Alright snack time Jonas!" I yelled.

I walked back into Joe's room realizing he hadn't moved since I'd left. The expression on his face distinguished, while his eyes were filled with an intensity I'd rarely seem before.

"Oh fuck this." Joe exclaimed, pushing me against the wall and connecting his lips with mine in one swift motion.

He kissed me roughly and passionately, causing me to loose all thought processes, and before I could even think this through I was kissing him back. All my brain could process was that this kiss was damn good.

**alright, here's my attempt at some sort of cliffhanger, I'm so sorry if this was aterrible chapter I can't believe my whole story got deleted, I was done this chapter days ago and it was hard for me to remember exactly what I put. I know it didn't end up as good as the first one. Let me know what you think anyways guys ( :**


	8. Chapter 8

**okay so this chapter is dedicated to my best friend in the entire world daniella ( : hahaa we were listening to this song the other day and she came up with a good idea that i included in this chapter. anyways enjoy! **

Chapter Eight: you know when the sun forgets to shine, i'll be there to hold you through the night.

Rae

Joe was kissing me. He had me pinned against the wall unable to think, and I was kissing him back. He was sending sensations throughout my body, honestly kissing Joe was the most exhilarating feeling I'd ever experienced. I couldn't believe what he was doing to me; no one had ever done to me what Joe was doing to me now.

He pulled away for a moment and looked at me, his eyes filled entirely with lust, and caring deeply for me. He moved his lips to my ear and whispered, "Rae."

"Joe, I--"

He cut me off with his lips again, this time making the kiss even more passionate if possible. Moving his lips back to my ear, he whispered, "Rae, I love you."

I couldn't speak. Joe had just told me that he loved me. My best friend in the whole world informed me he loved me, and not just like a best friend, so much more than that; I could tell from the way he said it.

"Joe--"

"No let me get this out, please. I love you Rae Lynn Stevens. I love you so much, and I always have. I needed to tell you how I felt, and I don't know if you love Nick, or not. I'm sorry if you do, but I couldn't hold it in any longer. You've meant everything to me ever since we were eight years old, and you know me like no one else in the world ever will. You know the best and worst things about me, and I know the best and worst things about you, and love you for each and everyone of those things. The bond we have, the way I love you, I'm sure only comes around once in a lifetime, and I never want to let that go."

After Joe had finished, I didn't know what to say. I was with Nick, his own brother, a great guy, who was great to me. I didn't want to do this to Nick, he didn't deserve it, but I also knew that if I was to be true to my heart, I would have to stop denying the fact that I felt the exact same things for Joe as he felt for me. I had realized this just last night while thinking about him, and how great he was to me, and Ben, how he had always been there for me and had been my entire life. I felt stupid for not realizing it before, but the truth was now that I was expected to tell Joe how I felt, I was scared.

"Joe, I can't, I can't do this right now, I can't do this to Nick, I just have to go home. Please tell Nick I'll see him tomorrow." I gave him a pleading expression before turning around and making my way out the door. I could feel the tears well in my eyes as I ran through the house, and out into my car.

When I got home it was pretty late. I didn't know how long I had sat in my car crying, and thinking. I cried because of how much I loved Joe, and how I wanted to be with him so terribly, but I cried more because I couldn't do this to Nick. I felt terrible for even thinking about being with Joe, because Nick was everything any girl could ever want, he was amazing to me, caring, loyal, and so handsome. Realizing that Joe had all these qualities, and understood me like no one else, gave my heart a tearing sensation, because I felt like it was literally being ripped apart.

I turned out my light and crawled onto my bed staring at the ceiling. The thing that was really breaking my heart was realizing that I didn't love Nick, I definitely lusted for his body, and loved how he treated me, but I had an emotional connection with Joe that was undeniable, and for the first time I was admitting to myself that I loved him. I loved Joe, I wanted to be with him, but what if being with him ruined the friendship we'd had since the age of eight? What if being with Joe ruined us; Joe and Rae? What if we changed because of it? I don't think I could handle it. What I hoped is that If Joe and I were together he would be exactly the same guy as he'd always been, my best friend, never awkward, weird, or judgmental moments shared between us, always there for me, and always genuine. What if I changed, or he changed; what if we changed. We were Joe and Rae, and I always wanted us to be like that.

The truth was I was scared. Scared of loosing that, and scared of loosing Nick as a friend because of this, scared of causing problems between Joe and Nick, but mostly scared of my feelings for Joe, and how real they were.

Joe

I couldn't believe she just left like that and I felt terrible for telling her how I felt because she obviously didn't love me back, and it obviously had upset her. I had to make sure my best friend was okay, and that I didn't ruin our friendship,I had to go see her. I left my house, and wandered down the road, and in minutes was already outside of her house.

I climbed up the tree right outside of her window that conveniently branched out right onto her windowsill. It was really dark out now, but I didn't have much trouble maneuvering my way up it because I had climbed this tree countless times in the middle of the night over the years, mostly at night to come see Rae if she was upset, sometimes during the day in hide-and-go-seek games around the house at the age of nine or ten. Every nook of every branch was familiar to me, and it only took me a minute to make my way to the top.

Rae

I was pulled away from my thoughts by sudden noises coming from outside of my window, I looked up to see Joe in my tree. That's right in my tree. The sight of him as a grown man climbing that tree to come see me made me chuckle, and I wiped away some of the tears that were still streaming down my face. He hadn't climbed up that tree in a few years now, deciding that the front door was the way to go, unless it was too late.

He pushed the window open and climbed inside quickly making his way over to the bed where I was laying hugging a pillow, the fact that I was crying apparent to him, and his face expression from what I could see quickly saddened. He sat down on my bed and pulled the pillow I was hugging away from me. He grabbed my wrist, and pulled me up to wards him, wiping a tear from my cheek as it slid down.

"Rae, I am so sorry about what I did, I didn't mean to upset you, I should have realized you didn't love me back and kept my mouth shut." He sounded disappointed in himself.

"What?" I couldn't speak, completely in disbelief. The room was silent for a minute as I thought of how I would explain to him what I really felt.

"Joe, no I can't believe you thought that. Oh god, no." I felt terrible, "I'm upset because I don't know what to do about Nick, but mostly because..." It took me a second to gather up the courage to admit it out loud to him as he looked at me concern evident on his face. "I love you so much it scares me." I admitted.

The room fell silent, then Joe grabbed me and pulling me into a hug layed down beside me, just holding me while I wept for a while longer. Within a few minutes my tears began to subside, and I felt more safe and comfortable than I ever remember feeling.

Kissing my forehead, Joe whispered "I love you Rae Lynn Stevens."

"I love you too Joe, so much."

Joe pulled the comforter over us and I fell asleep in my favorite place to fall asleep; tucked in Joe's arms, truly feeling I belonged there forever.

I woke up the next morning to a soft kiss on my lips, and opened my eyes to see Joe. "Good morning." He smiled.

I smiled back at the sight of him, "Morning." I was so happy he was here with me, but my happiness flooded away instantly as I remembered last night, and realized that today I would have to talk to Nick. Today, I would have to be a terrible person, I hated that.

Before I could think too hard about today's events though, Ben came bouncing in the room holding what looked like a bright yellow post it.

"Joe!" He yelled. "Rae! Joe's here! Hey Joe! You should come over more often because Rae gets boring." He advised, and Joe laughed grabbing him up and pulling him onto the bed.

"Whatcha got there buddy?" He asked pulling the post it from Ben's hands.

"Mom left it on the kitchen counter, I went down to get my nesquick cereal, and I saw it. Mom must have already left." He explained

I leaned over to read what it said.

_Ben, sorry I wasn't there to get you on the bus, but I had to go into work early, and I'll be working late too honey._

Rae, You'll have to make sure you're home tonight after school to get Ben off the bus and feed him dinner because I will be home either very late, or tomorrow. Sorry honey, thank you.

oh and Joe, honey use the front door, your not a chimpanzee. I don't care how late it is, the doors never locked.

I laughed, my mom must have checked on me this morning and saw that Joe was with me. She never cares when he comes over, but that was always when we were just friends, hopefully she wouldn't change her rules when she found out we might be something more.

Joe was still laughing at the note, when he took Ben to get ready, leaving me to get dressed. I threw on a pair of white shorts and a black tunic top, ran a brush through my hair and applied basic makeup before heading down to make sure Joe and Ben were ready to go.

Joe and I dropped Ben off at school, with a giant hug from Joe before he bounced off to his friends, and made our way to school. On the way there my heart was pounding, I didn't know how I was going to explain to Nick what had happened last night, and I felt terrible just thinking about it. He was such a great guy, but I knew I couldn't pretend that I loved him, and I truthfully didn't think he loved me either, we had a brief relationship that I enjoyed being in, but our emotional connection wasn't there. I hoped Nick would understand, because I truthfully didn't know if I could handle it if he wasn't, I broke down last night because of this thought, and I knew I would be a complete mess if I hurt him in anyway. More than that I knew I couldn't loose him as a friend, because he really did mean a lot to me, and was a great part of my life no matter what.

"It'll be okay Rae, I'm going to talk to Nick right now, we have spare together, and I'm his brother, and he's a great guy, so don't worry yourself sick like you are." Joe grabbed my hand frowning at the state I was in.

"No Joe it's alright I can talk to him myself, I'll go find him right now, I need to do this myself, he deserves that." I squeezed his hand back, and got out of the car leaving him to go park.

When I found Nick he was talking to a pretty brunette near his locker who was laughing at something he had just said. I knew her from my food and nutrition class, as one of the nicest girls in our grade. Great I thought, maybe once I break up with him like the jerk I am, she'll treat him right. I really did think he deserved better than me, and hoped he found it.

I walked up to him from behind, and the girl who he was with who I now remember was named Erica, nodded in my direction acknowledging my presence to Nick with a smile.

Nick whipped around instantly smiling when he saw me, planting a quick kiss on my lips. "Rae, hey, I missed you last night, Joe left me a note that said you had to go home to take care of something."

"Hey, can I talk to you?" I shyly questioned.

"Yeah of course", he walked to the end of the hallway with me and turned to face me, seeing my expression he frowned. "What's wrong, Rae?" a concerned look came across his face instantly.

"I don't know how to say this." I replied honestly.

"It's okay, what is it?"

"W-we, can't date anymore." I always stuttered around this boy, and the situation wasn't making speech any easier. "I know I'm a terrible person, and you deserve so much better than me, Nick, I'm in love with Joe. I'm so sorry, but I could never stand to loose you in my life, so I hope this doesn't mean we can't still be close friends, because I couldn't handle loosing you Nick. I guess I just never realized how in love with Joe I really am, and he's always been the one for me, I just didn't see it." I explained.

I looked up at Nick since I'd been unable to avoid eye contact before. He looked sad, yet I could see the understanding in his eyes, and I felt a tear drip down my cheek yet again today. "I'm not going to lie Rae, this sucks. I was really staring to fall for you, I think your truly amazing. However I'm not going to say that I'm surprised because ever since the first day I came home I noticed how perfect for each other you two were."

Nick moved close to me and wiped a tear from my cheek, pulling me into a tight hug. "Don't cry Rae, it's okay. I could always see that you and Joe belong together, I guess I just ignored the fact, hoping I had a shot. I'm not upset with Joe or you, I understand, I'm just sad that things between you and I couldn't have developed further because I think we could have been great together." He pulled away and gave me a warm smile.

"I'll never not be here for you as a friend though Rae, just know that." He added on a serious note, grabbing my text books and carrying them to my locker for me. "And if things don't work out between you and Joe, I'll be here for that too." He joked, making me feel better. This boy was way to good for me; too good for any girl. God, I loved how amazing he was to me.

"You still fascinate me Jonas." I threw him a smirk as I opened my locker and retrieved my books from him.

"Good, cause I'm pretty fascinating." He laughed at my lame analogy of him from way back when. "But I'll catch you later Stevens, the bell must have rang a few minutes ago, I guess we were both pretty oblivious." He added.

I looked around and saw empty halls, Nick was right we were the only ones around. I didn't care If I was late anyways.

Nick leaned in and placed one final kiss on my lips. It was small, and perfect, and made me feel how much he really did care for me, but at the same time showed me he was letting me go, and that he was okay with that. "Goodbye Stevens" He half-whispered, and I knew his goodbye meant until after school, and at the same time, goodbye to our relationship.

He walked away and I wiped away one last tear from my cheek, as I closed my locker and headed to class.

I spent all of foods class not really paying attention to the teacher, just running over in my head how amazing Nick had been about our break-up. I knew I would really miss him, but I also knew Joe made me more happy than I had ever been, and I belonged with him.

When the bell rang freeing us from class, I was instantly excited because my next class was biology, and the man I loved would surly be waiting outside for me. I met up with Joe right outside the classroom, he was standing in the hallway exactly where I knew he would be, exactly where he had always waited for me, exactly where he would always wait for me.

He looked breathtakingly gorgeous leaning against the locker smiling at me as I walked to wards him, and I grabbed his hand. We headed into biology on the way sharing a quick kiss, and once inside the door being stopped by Mr. Tambelt.

"So I hear your somewhat of an 'item' now." Mr. Tambelt stated using air quotes. "Well guess what? I don't care." I inwardly chuckled, and he continued his rant. "You were abnormally chatty as friends, and I'll have you know I don't appreciate what you kids would call flirting. It's well, with you two I can imagine, it's even worse." Joe and I both held back laughter at this statement, and 's use of air quotes. "Oh and I also don't appreciate kissing in or around my classroom." He stated sternly, "I saw you two in the hallway, don't think I didn't." He warned, being completely legit with his lecture.

"Okay Sir, whatever you say." Joe replied grabbing my hand and letting out his laughter on our way to our lab bench at the back of the classroom.

**ohkay so the idea that my friend came up with in case you didn't catch it was Joe climbing the tree outside Rae's house, to make sure that she was home, and go to see her. It's in the song "What I Go To School For" and she thought I should write a scene like that , so I did ! (: haha. anyways what did you guys think? Pretty angsty at the beginning I know, but things can't always be peachy keen you know. (: Remember, comments are love !**


	9. Chapter 9

**oh my god! it's chapter nine! (: ****enjoy (;**

Chapter Nine: I can't Take it Anymore. I Want You, I Want You, I Want You to Show me Love. 

The next few days went by rather quickly. Nick went on a school trip with his English class that was going to last a few days, so I stayed at Joe's house. We spent the week hanging out and having the most fun we'd ever had, acting like the best friends we were, and falling more and more in love everyday. I was so glad that our relationship hadn't changed or been ruined because we had now decided to be more than friends, in fact we were closer than ever and I didn't think that was possible.

One day we watched Peal Harbor while cuddling on the couch like a cheesy couple, and loved every minute of it. Another day we went to what turned out to be a really bad movie and made fun of it the whole time, almost getting kicked out by the security. And today, we had gone to the mall and tried on samples of almost every perfume in Shoppers Drug Mart. Yup, we were the same Rae and Joe we always had been, but when we got home this time, we turned into so much more.

We came barging in the door laughing and Joe scooped me up. This was the result of me attempting to tickle him, and failing miserable. He carried me upstairs and layed me on the bed. He stood there looking down on me laughing, and I took in the sight of him. Damn that boy was fine. Sculpted arms crossed looking at me like he always did after dominating me in a play fight. His face was perfect, like it was sculpted by god himself, and I know that sounds crazy but in my eyes, he looked like the most handsome man in the world. I really did love everything about him.

All I could think is that I wanted him, I needed him to show me how much he loved me, and make me feel better than I'd ever felt.

He layed down on the bed beside me and I immediately moved on top of him connecting his lips with mine for the millionth time this week. This time though, I didn't plan on stopping. I intensified the kiss, and began to unbutton his shirt as I did so. Joe pushed his hand up my shirt and began feeling under my bra causing my nipple to harden. It felt so damn good, and I moaned into the kiss.

"I want you Jonas." I moaned.

"Rae, your not ready for this yet, it's too soon and I don't want you to regret it." He pulled away, being the perfect gentlemen he was.

"I am too Jonas, don't tell me what I want, because damn it, I want you. So damn much." I connected my lips with his again.

"No Rae, we should wait, I want to make sure you're ready." He was so damn frustrating, I was as ready as I would ever be, and he needed to take me now or I might explode from sexual frustration.

I knew he wouldn't give in easily because the boy was just too damn caring for his own good. Realizing I probably still smelled of forty different types of perfume from the mall this afternoon, I had an idea.

"Ugh, fine Jonas, but I'm going to have a shower. I'm surprised I haven't given myself a headache from so much perfume." I crawled off of Joe, and headed for the bathroom, stripping my shirt off knowing he was watching from behind me. Before closing the door I added, "And if you'd like to join me, don't hesitate." In a slightly playful, and slightly more seductive voice.

I wondered if Joe would be able to resist, it wasn't like I hadn't already told him I was ready for this, and I hoped he'd give up and get his sexy ass in here with me.

I turned the shower on, and adjusted the water so that it was just hot enough, before removing the rest of my clothing and stepping under the tap water. I began rinsing my hair, and before even a whole minute had gone by, the bathroom door was forcefully pushed open and Joe was pushing me against the back of the shower, clothes and all, passionately kissing me.

"Goddammit Women." He yelled.

"I thought you wanted to wait, what made you change your mind?" I teased removing his now soaked shirt from his back and revealing the most amazing body I had ever seen.

"Besides the fact that your the most amazing girl in the world ... you Rae Lynn Stevens are Damn fine." He informed me with a sexually frustrated tone of voice."

I replied by reconnecting our lips in one of the hottest kisses we had ever shared, and completely stripping him of the rest of his clothes except for his boxers. We just stood underneath the hot water enjoying each other, and exploring each others bodies for a lengthy amount of time. Joe took in the sight of my completely naked body, causing me to experience some unexpected self-conscious feelings. He had known me my whole life, but being naked with him now was on a completely different level of seeing each other, and I wasn't sure if I was all that perfect body-wise.

Joe, not wanting me to sense any discomfort, immediately informed me otherwise. "You're so damn beautiful Rae Lynn Stevens, every single thing about you is perfect."

He made his way down my body with his lips, sucking on my breasts, kissing down my stomach, kissing back up to wards my lips, and when I decided I couldn't take it anymore, I slammed him against the shower wall and stripped him of his last article of clothing, leaving us both standing there completely exposed.

Joe began forcefully groping my breasts in his hands, making me so aroused, and causing him to become harder than he already was. I grabbed his length in my hand and began stroking up and down. That boy was big, and I wanted him inside me so damn much. He moaned and moved closer causing our lower halves to rub together, and causing me to feel his length against me, so close to where I needed it to be.

"Goddamn it Jonas, Fuck me, please." I begged.

"Are you sure?" He asked yet again.

"I'm so sure, now do it."

Joe pushed me hard against the shower wall yet again, and began to push into me, never breaking the heated kiss we were sharing. He slowly pushed in further, filling me completely. "Oh shit Rae." He yelled.

"More Jonas." I yelled in reply.

He pushed in all the way, and then pulled out completely, before thrusting back into me pounding me into the shower wall.

"Harder Joe, Faster!" I commanded. He obliged by pumping in and out of me with faster thrusts. They became more and more forceful as I could feel the pleasure building inside me, and I knew as he was experiencing the same Ecstasy I was. The feeling of Joe inside me was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, it was so amazing, and more than just the pleasurable aspect, it felt like he belonged there, and like this could only be this good for us together.

"Oh god Joe, don't stop."

"Rae, it's so damn good."

Joe was supporting himself against the shower wall with both muscular arms while pushing into me. Harder, and faster, harder, and faster, it felt so good.

Moaning in unison, he picked me up pushing me harder into the wall and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he continued to thrust. This position, with me pinned against the wall, was at just the right angle to maximize the pleasure I was receiving and Joe was taking.

I continued to moan, clearly making Joe more and more aroused with every yelp I let out, and could feel my climax building up inside me.

With a few more thrusts from Joe, I felt his release inside of me, as he moaned my name, enough to send me over the edge right after him.

Both of us left breathless standing there, Joe set my feet back down on the floor, and pressed one more forceful kiss to my lips. "I love you." He concluded.

"I love you too." I replied trying to regain my breath.

Suddenly the phone rang pulling me away from my personal heaven, and Joe jumped out of the shower. Grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist before exiting the bathroom, and making his way to his bedroom. The minute he grabbed the phone and all I could here was "Ben, buddy whats wrong? Calm down, tell Joe whats wrong buddy." I instantly panicked, something was terribly wrong, I knew it.

Joe ran into the bathroom as I slipped on a bathrobe, and handed me the portable phone. I grabbed it and spoke to my brother. "Ben, what's wrong?" He was crying and I could barely make out complete sentences. Something terrible had happened, and it had clearly shaken my baby brother immensely. Panic took over and my entire body froze as I waited for Ben to begin.

**Joe and Rae shower sex anyone? (; Remember, reviews are love! (:**


	10. Chapter 10

**alright, here's chapter ten everyone!**

Chapter Ten: don't tell me if i'm dying, cause I don't wanna know. if i can't see the sun, maybe i should go.

"Rae, It's mom. Ben exclaimed in a low voice. She wasn't home when I got home lik-like she always is." He wept, barley making audible words. "I was sitting in the front room watching TV when I heard a loud screechbang in front of the house. He let out another whimper before continuing. "I went outside to see what it was an-and Mommy's car was scrunched up on one of the big poles. I'm scared Rae. I called you, what do I do?"

I couldn't think. My brain wasn't functioning properly, but it was my little brother who was sitting at home, scared an counting on me. My mothers car was wrapped around a telephone pole in front of our house; therefore I had to think. "Joe call 911." I yelled.

I heard him grab his cell phone, and immediately inform the operator of what had happened, hoping they would respond as soon as possible.

"Listen Ben, just stay there you hear me? I'll be there in a few minutes. Don't move Ben, please, just wait for me." I replied to Ben, receiving a saddened "ohkay" before hanging up the phone and rushing to get dressed.

I ran out into Joe's bedroom and pulled on the closest articles of clothing I could find which ended up being jeans and an over sized sweater. Joe was already dressed and grabbing his car keys.

He looked over at me, worry clearly evident on my face, and pulled me into a tight hug. "It's okay Rae, everything will be okay because no matter what happens I'll be here for you. I love you." He pulled away, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the bedroom.

"Let's go." He forced my numb body through the house out to the car.

We rushed down the road, and in a few blocks we were in my neighborhood. The site we encountered caused immediate panic to take control of my body, and as soon as Joe pulled in my driveway I ran down the road; to the scene of the crash.

Red and blue blinking lights lit up the entire road. Police cars, fire engines, and an ambulance, crowded the scene. My neighbors were on their front lawns, trying to catch a glimpse of who it was that had entered the nearby telephone pole head on. Curious faces were whispering to near by bystanders. It was dark out now, and the flashing lights seemed to engulf the neighborhood reflecting off the cars, houses and people.

People stared in shock as I ran out of my driveway to the blocked off scene, screaming for my mother, tears running down my cheeks. I ran faster than I had ever run before, I forced my way inside the crime scene tape trying to get to my mother, not letting anything stop me. As I approached the scene however, a police officer grabbed me, denying me further entry.

"Mom!" I screamed, fighting to break free of his grasp, but failing. He was too strong, and I was too shaken up to really stand a chance.

"Let me go! I need my mom. I need to make sure she's okay!" I yelled at him, weeping even harder now, letting out my frustration, and sadness.

I already knew when I approached the scene what I didn't want to admit to myself. I wanted to get to my mother and take her home, I wanted to tell myself she was okay, but I already knew that she was not okay. The look on the officers face as I tried to break through to the scene had said it all, without him even speaking one word I knew the reality of the situation. I needed my mother though, I couldn't live without her. With one forceful pull I managed to escape from the police officers arms and dash closer to the car wreck.

The first thing I saw was my mothers car completely demolished against the pole, like she had hit it at high speed, and at the most unfortunate angle. The next sight taken in by my unbelieving eyes was what killed me inside. Two paramedics were loading a stretcher into the ambulance a few feet away. I wanted to be told that the body laying underneath the blue sheet wasn't that of my mother's but I knew that wasn't the case.

At that realization, at my most heartbreaking moment, I completely broke down, both inside and out. My heart felt like it suddenly was torn, and would never recover. My lungs felt like they would collapse in on me, and I found it hard just to breath. My knees buckled underneath me and I fell to the floor crying harder than I had ever cried before, not expecting the tears to ever stop. Joe came up behind me instantly with Ben holding his hand leaning into Joe and crying. Joe immediately dropped to the ground and pulled me into him holding me tight. "I'm so sorry Rae" was all he said, was all he could say, and I sobbed into his shoulder.

**sorry it's so short, but this dramatic chapter seemed to stand on its own, and it felt right to leave it there for now. I now for such a long wait this time, it seems like there should have been more, but just wait, Moree will come (: Angsty, I know.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: worlds are spinning round, there's no sign of slowing down, so won't you take a breath just take a breath.

I woke up in a dark room. I didn't really remembered much about tonight, but Joe I assumed had carried me from the street to a bed. The street, where my mothers dead body was loaded onto an ambulance. I couldn't help but to think of the image, and it made me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. My mother was dead. The emotions began building up inside of me again, and I wept.

Joe must have heard me crying because instantly he had barged into the bedroom and scooped me into his arms. I realized now that I was in his bedroom. He must have taken Ben and I back to his house.

"Rae, shh, it's ohkay just cry, just let it out, I'm right here." He comforted me while rubbing his hand along my back.

I just sat there in Joe's arms, wondering what I was going to do. My mother was gone, I missed her terribly, that was obvious, but I had Ben now. I didn't know what Ben and I would do. My mother had left plenty of money, so looking after him wasn't the problem, but I knew that we couldn't stay in our house alone now. It would almost definitely make Ben too sad to stay there, and I knew that there were too many memories within those walls that would be almost unbearable to experience on a daily basis.

We couldn't go live with our father because he had never been around. Ben had honestly never knew him, and I had barely knew him when he walked out on us and my mother. I was very young, and Ben was still a baby.

"Joe, what am I going to do?" I sobbed into his neck.

"What do you mean? Everything will turn out fine Rae." He assured me.

"Well where are Ben and I going to live? We can't go back and live at home Joe, we just can't it's too hard. I don't have a dad to go live with, and I need to take care of Ben, he needs to try to keep living a normal life even if it is me who has to take care of him." I explained.

"You'll live here with me and Nick, I'll help you take care of Ben and I'll take care of you always Rae." He kissed the top of my hair lightly and hugged me closer.

"I love you so much Joe" I whispered.

"I love you more than life itself Rae Lynn Stevens, and everything will be okay again soon, don't worry." He informed me.

He pulled me down onto the bed, and layed down holding me. "Try to get some sleep Rae, the funeral is tomorrow morning." He informed me. I kept sobbing quietly until I finally fell asleep again in Joe's arms.

Staring at my mothers casket as it was being lowered to the ground was like ripping my heart out. I would never see her again, and the realization terrified me. I would miss her so much, but as I felt Joe grab my hand and squeeze it tight, I knew I would be okay, and because of him I would get through this.

"Bye Mom, I promise I'll be good, you can watch me from heaven and make sure just in case." Ben told my mothers casket as it hit the hard ground, and the caretakers began pilling dirt on top of the solid wooden box that contained her body.

"Bye mom." I whispered, and Joe scooped up Ben throwing him on his back as we made our way to his car.

Nick came home that afternoon, and him and Joe immediately went over to our house and packed up all the things Ben and I needed to live with them. I was still upset about my mother, and didn't want to face all those memories again, but I didn't even have to tell them that because they informed me they would go right away, and that I couldn't come. I had no objections, but I did realize yet again that they were both way too good to me, and I still don't deserve them in my life.

I was watching spider man three with Ben, while he slipped in and out of consciousness laying on my lap, when I heard Joe and Nick get home. "Rae, we're back." I heard Nicks voice for the first time in a few days. I missed him, and I was glad he was back now.

He walked into the living room carrying a large box of things and set it down. I stood up moving a now sleeping Ben aside, and immediately grabbed him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Rae." He said solemnly.

"Thanks, but it's okay, I'll be fine." I told him truthfully. I would always miss my mother so much that it might be hard to even think about her sometimes, but I knew I would be fine and that's because I had Joe, who was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me, and I also knew I still had Nick, and I was so glad for that.

"I'll help you unpack, he informed me grabbing thee giant box again and carrying it up the stairs while I followed." He was really strong, and I was glad because there was no way I could carry all our stuff in the house by myself.

We began emptying boxes and Nick filled me in on his trip. He kept my mind off my mother for a while, and I was grateful for that. He said he had a great time, and the play he went to see was amazing. It was a musical, and he absolutely loved it. Before long Joe had brought in all the rest of the boxes and with his help we had finished unloading all of mine and Ben's things and putting them away in a few hours.

It was dark out now, and getting rather late. Ben was still sleeping on the couch, so I decided it was time to put my baby brother to bed. I scooped him up and layed him in his new bed, which Joe had made up for him, and I knew he would love in the morning mainly because Joe had made it up for him.

Once I had layed Ben in his bed, I returned to my room to see Nick and Joe putting the empty boxes in piles in the corner, and chatting with each other. I was glad that nothing had changed between them due to me.

"Ben's in bed" I informed them, as they both smiled at me while I entered the room.

"Poor kid, he seems really down lately." Joe added.

"He is, I think he just needs some normalcy, some fun, to get back to the way he was. I think we both do." I Informed him.

"How about this weekend, I take him out for a fun day, we can do whatever he wants, and I'll give you the day off." Nick suggested.

Even though Ben wasn't really a burden to me, I knew he needed some fun, and I loved that Nick would do that for me, he was incredible. "If you want to, thank you so much Nick, I think he would love that." I beamed.

"Alright, looking forward to it, I'm going to bed though, I'll see you two in the morning, we do have school after all." He reminded us, we had completely forgot about that aspect of our lives the last few days, and it had given me a complete reality check.

"Good night Man." Joe waved as Nick left the room, and closed the door.

I went into Joe's top drawer and grabbed one of his big t-shirts throwing it on, and crawling into bed along side of him. I fell asleep for the millionth time in my favorite place to fall asleep, in Joe's comforting arms. This man was helping me through the most difficult time of my life, and because of him, I was becoming stronger everyday.

I was completely, and unconditionally in love with Joseph Adam Jonas, and I was admitting it happily to myself for the billionth time in my life.

**so I'm not sure how many more chapters this story will have, I'm currently working on another one which I hope will interest you guys! I'll still be writing chapters for this don't worry however, it may be coming to an end in the neerish future. we'll see (:**


	12. Chapter 12

**OH MY GOD! IT'S CHAPTER TWELVE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! ME NEITHER (:**

Chapter twelve: If it's you and me forever, if it's you and me right now, that'd be alright.

The week at school went by relatively fast. I found myself able to deal with the loss of my mother better and better everyday, and also realized everyday Joe got more and more amazing through it all. I knew I would always miss her, but living life normally seemed to be what I needed to try to do, so I was doing that the best I could. I had to.

By Friday afternoon however, I was extremely glad when the bell finally rang, freeing us for the weekend.

"Have a good weekend, and try not to be reckless teenagers, and vandalize the town. It's not cool, even though you might think it is." Mr. Tambelt yelled on a random rant as we filled out of the classroom. Where he thought of these things beat me, and I chuckled alongside Joe as we exited the classroom on the way to his car.

When we got home, Joe and I finished up a biology assignment Mr. Tambelt so generously assigned us for the weekend, and waited for Ben to get off the bus. Tonight was the Night Ben and Nick decided to hang out, and Ben had decided he wanted to go go-carting and glow-in-the-dark mini-golfing. Nick was totally up for that, thinking it sounded like a blast, and they decided to leave as soon as Ben was home from school.

Just as Joe and I had finished up the assignment, which was the biggest waste of my time ever by the way, Ben came barging in the door yelling "Go Carts! Let's go Nick!" I laughed at his excitement. Ben had never spent any time with Nick before we moved in with him and Joe, and he was really warming up to him. I knew Joe would always be Ben's favorite person in the world, no competition, but Ben thought Nick was really fun too, and didn't mind hanging around him. Nick was great to Ben too, so I was completely content.

"Alright bud are you ready?" Nick laughed as he walked to the door to greet Ben.

"I've been ready since I woke up!" Ben beamed.

"Okay set your book bag down, and let's go." He informed Ben.

"Bye Guys!" Nick yelled to us at the top of the stairs.

"See you later!" Ben screamed before running out of the door.

"Bye, have fun." I replied just as the door slammed and they were on their way.

I turned to Joe, realizing it was around dinner time, and I was hungry. "Let's eat Jonas." I suggested, as I grabbed his hand and pulled him down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"What do you want?" He questioned.

"I don't care I replied grabbing the party mix and snacking while we decided what our main course would be.

Joe was searching through the cupboards, when he laughed and pulled out a bright blue box. "Remember when we used to eat this everyday during the summer when we were like nine?" He questioned with a smile.

"Kraft Dinner! Yes!" I replied, "It's been a while, I think for the sake of old school Rae and Joe we need to make Kraft Dinner." I informed him.

"I agree." He laughed, and began adding hot water to a pan.

Within about ten minutes Joe and I were eating some quality KD, and loving every bite. It brought back the memories from when we were young and invincible, and made me so happy that we were still standing here now in Joe's kitchen doing the same thing, and in love.

Joe had forgotten to turn on the fan however, and when making the Kraft Dinner increased the temperature in the kitchen by a huge amount, and standing there eating, I was literally sweating.

"It's damn hot in here Jonas; you forgot to turn on the fan." I informed him.

"I think it's you who's damn hot Rae Lynn Stevens, quit making the kitchen boil damn it, I don't appreciate it." He joked, glaring with a raised eyebrow setting his bowl on the counter top.

"Oh fuck that, it's your fault."

"Bullshit it's my fault", he looked me up and down. "Your way too hot to handle and as a result it's now 500 degrees in here." He stepped closer and closer with every word, looking sexier than he ever had before.

"So fucking hot." he separated every word as his face inched closer to mine. I couldn't take it anymore, and I crashed my lips into his that second.

I set down my bowl, and tangled my hands in his hair, as he deepened the kiss. He let his hands wander on the small of my back, slowly pushing up the hem of my shirt. Not being able to handle it anymore, I grabbed it from the bottom where he was playing with it, and pulled it completely over my head in one swift motion. I then grabbed the front of Joe's shirt and swung him around so his back collided with the fridge door.

Unbuttoning it fiercely, we never broke the kiss. When I had finally managed to unbutton his shirt, I pulled it off roughly, and he unclasped my bra leaving us both completely shirtless, and extremely aroused. "I need you now Jonas." I let out an exasperated breath. I pulled at the button on his jeans, and undid them within seconds. He pulled them off, and set me on the counter. Swiftly undoing my jeans, he proceeded to remove my underwear and reconnect our lips in the passionate kiss I was beginning to miss.

I jumped back down off the counter and pulled down his boxers leaving us both completely naked. Joe slammed me back into the fridge reconnecting our lips and began rubbing my clit, causing me to moan and grab onto the door handle for support. "Fuck Jonas, oh shit!" I yelled. The pleasure was overwhelming and I knew I wouldn't last if he continued. "Just fuck me Jonas, right fucking now." I moaned.

"Not a problem." Joe replied in a very seductive voice. He stopped rubbing and slowly walked me backwards off the fridge, and into the table. My back bumped the wood, and as soon as it did Joe picked me up and set me on the edge of the table. He aligned himself at my entrance, and paused before pushing in. "I love you so damn much Rae, and I'm going to make you feel so much better than you have these last few days. I'm going to make the pain go away, and show you how much I love you." He whispered against my ear.

"I love you too Joe, so much." I replied as he slowly entered me. After giving me a moment to adjust he began to pull out, and push back in. "Oh shit Rae, you feel so goddamn good." He moaned. He trusted harder, pushing at a very pleasurable angle because of his standing position, and my position on the table. I grabbed his back and pulled him into me as I fell back onto the table in pleasure. I was now laying down, and Joe had made his way on top of me.

"Harder, Joe!" I yelped.

"Oh fuck, Rae."

Joe began to thrust into me harder and faster, literally pounding me into the kitchen table. He was hitting my spot every time now, and I could tell he was reaching his maximum pleasure alongside me. We were both breathing heavy, and covered in sweat, I never wanted this feeling to end. "Don't stop Joe, I'm so close, fuck me hard until I come." I ordered, in pure ecstasy.

"I'm almost there Rae." He informed me, as I felt my climax build inside me, and with a few more hard thrusts I was sent over the edge. I rode out my climax, and felt Joe release inside me after thrusting in and out once more. "Fuck" He moaned as he was sent over the edge with me, and we both laid there just breathing heavily for what seemed like forever.

After a few more moments Joe pulled out of me, and scooped me off the table into his arms. "I love you Rae Lynn Stevens, now how about a nice long nap?" He chuckled.

"Sounds great to me." I smiled and kissed him gently before he carried me up the stairs and laid me on his bed. Tucking me in, and climbing alongside me, I felt like the world wasn't as bad as it had seemed lately. Like everything would be alright, and I was okay again. I fell asleep wrapped in Joe's arms, and instead of napping, we slept through the night, completely in love with each other, and never wanting things to change.

**Joe and Rae kitchen sex anyone? I thought so (: **

**Oh and i also wanted to mention to anyone whose interested, that there's a website where I write everything and post it before i put it on here just because it's a great site for Jonas brothers fics only and anything's allowed, also nothing will get deleted. It's pretty much my life I'm on it all the time and there's around 10 000 people on it now i think. The people on there are amazing, and i have a lot of great friends. You will guaranteed get reviews on your stories, and there are a lot of really great stories on there i love to read, and in my opinion are good enough to be published novels. Anyways if you're interested the site is: . i don't know if any of my stuff will get deleted from here but it will definitely be there. **


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: this is the end for us all, how do we say our goobyes. 

I woke up the next morning to a small tug on my night gown. I opened my eyes to see a blurry image of Ben in his pajamas.

"Rae, I miss her." He whispered.

"I sat up and pulled him onto the bed with me. "I do too buddy, but everything is going to be okay." I assured him running my hands through his hair as he snuggled in between Joe and I.

A moment later I felt Joe rustling beside me, and he turned over to see Ben and me sitting together laughing at him. He smiled when he saw Ben, "Hey little man, what's up?" He questioned as he sat up against the headboard.

"I miss mom Joe." Ben explained in a sad tone.

"Well do you want to go visit her?" Joe asked Ben, thinking maybe it would cheer up my little brother to be able to go to the cemetery and just tell her he loved her. Joe thought that maybe it wouldn't seem so bad to Ben if he could just talk to his mother for a while, like she was still there; Sitting beside him, and telling him everything's alright.

"Can we?" Ben asked instantly perking up.

"Of course, we can go see her whenever you want to Ben, as much as you want." He explained.

"Go get dressed, and then we'll go." I told Ben, and he climbed off the bed headed out the door.

Joe and I began to get dressed, and as I was searching through my drawers for a sweater Joe came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me waist.

"So prom is next weekend." He reminded me kissing my hair. I had totally forgotten about it lately because of all of the recent events that were clouding my mind.

"Oh, I forgot." I informed him.

"Well I would love it if you would go with me." He informed me softly speaking in my ear. Of course he already knew that I was going with him, but the fact that he formally asked me like it really mattered to him, made my heart melt.

"Well I heard that Mr. Tambelt is chaperoning, so I don't know if I want to got through his lectures about our dancing behavior." I joked.

"Stevens and Jonas! One arms length between the two of you while dancing!" Joe mimicked our teacher's voice sarcastically.

I laughed, "Oh well I suppose I could put up with it for you." I smiled spinning around and giving him a soft kiss.

"Good, because you're the only person I want to go with." He kissed me back pulling me in close with his arms.

"I love you Rae Lynn Stevens."

"I love you too Joseph Adam Jonas, I always will." I replied

"I'm glad." He chuckled, and I grabbed a sweater as we headed out the door.

I wandered into Ben's room, he was fully dressed, and had a piece of paper in his hand.

"You ready to go see mom? I asked him."

"Yes, I drew her a picture." He handed me the piece of paper, and I examined it. It had a picture of him, with me, and my mother with big white angel wings. It said 'I love you mom' in big letters across the top and a 'Love Ben' written in the right hand corner.

"She'll love it Buddy now lets go give it to her, I pushed my fingers through his hair, and then grabbed his hand pulling him out of his room.

Standing by my mothers freshly dug grave, made me realize yet again how much I missed her. She didn't belong under the ground covered in six feet of dirt, she belonged at home with me and Ben, and most of all I felt she deserved to know that Joe and I were together. I knew she'd secretly always wished that I would realize my amazing best friend was the one for me, and I knew she was letting me figure it out on my own, but I found myself wanting to be able to sit with her, and just have one last long talk about how amazing he was to me, and how she had known it all along, but neglected to say anything.

Ben walked towards my mothers head stone and placed the picture in front of it. "I drew this for you mom, I hope you like it." He told her.

I knew my mother was looking down on us from heaven, and I knew she loved Ben's drawing for her. I also knew that she would always watch over me, always there to think about although I couldn't talk to her anymore. I knew I would make mistakes in life, but I knew she was proud of me no matter what.

"Goodbye mom." I said, before taking a few steps back beside Joe and watched Ben talk to our mom excitedly.

Joe squeezed my hand, and I knew he was the reason I would be okay. He would always be there for me, and I knew that this would make my mother happy, and put her mind at ease wherever she was.

Standing there with Joe and Ben beside my mother's grave, I knew I had a great life, and I was lucky to have the people in it that I did. This was, despite my mother's unfortunate death, my very own happily ever after.

**THE END. **

**alright so this fic is oficially complete, any final thoughts? (:  
I'll be posting a new fic soon called ****not yet**** make sure to look for it if you like my writing. if not then don't worry about it (: thanks again to everyone who read this and reviewed, and enjoyed it throughout the whole story. you guys are amazing**


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